I’m getting caught up on correspondence. I apologize for my being awol this past week. Friday evening my father was taken to the ER by ambulance. She was hysterical when I spoke to her and it took some time calm her down. She’s (just to say again, my dad is transgendered, still dad though) in Rhode Island living with a roommate and she wanted me out there like yesterday. She thought she was dying and didn’t want to be alone. She was moved to a nursing facility on Sunday.

She was in such bad shape when she was here. Her spondylitis (a form of arthritis along the spine) had fused her spine so she can’t turn her head any longer and has to bend at the waist. She was weak, in a great deal of pain, shaking terribly bad, and was having trouble carrying herself–her legs were really weak. It turns out she got pneumonia after coming down with the flu after she returned from her visit here. She had become bed ridden and her roommate was taking care of her. Her roommate phoned me and discussed with me how she can look after my dad for a little while longer but that she wasn’t going to be able to live in their shared apartment any longer. [EDIT: She hadn’t mentioned that she had fallen down the last few stairs as she was going to do her laundry. A bit part of her problem is she has a hairline fracture in her lower spine complicating already bad issue.]

So anyway, I’ve had to find an assisted living facility to move my dad from RI to here in Ohio, and how we’re going to do that, how we’ll afford everything. My dad will be 79 in June. The thing she values more than anything is her independence and she’s been quite frank about what will happen if she goes into nursing care. Though we’ve also discussed the fact that we can’t live together and she doesn’t want me having to care for her the way I did my mother and grandfather. It’s just, to be absolutely blunt, a frightening and fucked up turn of events my husband and I are trying to deal with. Sadly both my brothers have no contact with our dad so I don’t have them to turn to for help. Though my new sister-in-law, the angel that she is, sad she would help me where she could.

Campaign perks are still going out. I’m doubling down on getting everything out so I can put this campaign to rest. I’m also moving through cyber Monday sales. Thank you for being patient.

Posted in: Personal Bruhah

Published by Bethalynne

Bethalynne Bajema is a life long artist and writer who works as art director for her family business The Attic Shoppe Trading Co. Among other projects, she's a prolific collectable card deck maker, adding tarot, lenormand and regular playing card decks to her portfolio over the past decade. When not working or taunting squirrels, you can follow her attempts to become a Practical Magic aunt on instagram or visit her online portfolio.